Preventing Substance Abuse for College and High School Aged Youth
By Eliza Pertz LCSW and Dr. Jason Rudolph
My husband and I have psychotherapy practices that specialize in substance use disorders. Because of this we often hear tragic stories of overdose and death - and lately, with increasingly greater frequency. Although confirmation of this as a trend is anecdotal, we think the issue warrants the concern of all of us - and especially the parents of high school and college age youngsters. With that concern in mind, we've put together a list of prevention techniques that could help identify when a problem is on the rise or mitigate it if it exists. This list is not comprehensive, but rather suggests how to begin to address this serious topic and, however awkward and difficult, ways to structure a relationship with your children that confronts what is too often avoided:
Be present; teens and young adults need you around more now then when they were little kids. Be there when they go out; be there when they come home from going out.
If you have seen them drunk, discuss and talk about acceptable limits. Talk about what is ok with them and what is ok with you. Then set a boundary about what IS ok. Remember that all non-prescribed drugs are illegal and to ingest alcohol in New York State you must be 21. Use that law as a guide post.
Establish and enforce a curfew. This doesn't mean 9 p.m. to bed, but it does mean some boundary they need to keep responsibly.
Make clear a zero tolerance rule related to driving when consuming any amount of any intoxicating substance.
Use your senses. Do you smell alcohol? How do they appear? Is their speech affected? Talk to them and ask them if they have been drinking or using drugs. Discuss, observe. Smell water bottles. Notice the trash. It's true, you feel disloyal in playing the detective, but your concern is their safety in an environment where what is unsafe is commonplace.
Use toxicology as a additional sense. Get a full panel drug test even if you "trust them." You can order it online or buy it in a drug store. This will help you know what is going on. Not surprisingly, many young adults hide the true story form their parents. Find out what they fear regarding you knowing the full story. Discuss... Notice their response to a urine test. Do they get very agitated? Why? If nothing's going on it will just prove it. Agitation can mean something is there they don't want exposed.
Again, this is the kind of intrusion that makes most parents shudder and some teenagers scowl. But a conversation that begins "we are worried" could help explain "why."
Make informed decisions about the use of prescribed stimulants (Adderol, Strattera, Ritalin.) While these controlled substances may be helpful, they may also be used for recreation or sold. There are often more natural options that have less side effects and reduce the possibility of abuse. Make sure that you are in discussion with a prescribing psychiatrist if there are medications being prescribed. Be involved in the choice of psychiatrists as well.
Note if your child seems unhappy or experiences severe mood swings. Talk to them about it, be persistent... If they can't or won't talk to you, try asking someone else in the family, church, temple, school or other professional to be involved. Depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions can be an early sign of substance abuse or a risk factor. No, every bonkers teenager is not using; these are biologically difficult times. But, on the other hand, do not assume that mood changes are something to be taken as a matter of course.
Remember that consequential thinking develops at different times for all young adults. They need help seeing what their behavior can lead to in terms of hurting their mental health and putting their life and others' lives at risk.
Remember what goes up...must come down. Getting high leads to getting down. Observe. Discuss.
Do not interfere with the consequences of their substance use should they occur (don't for example, hire an attorney to fight a DUI charge). No one should drive under the influence, nor get away with it. The consequence helps them understand the role substances are playing in their life. The leniency suggests they do it again.
For college age kids... Show up the first week and periodically visit their dorm room, meet roommates and if you can't be there have a friend or family go to check out their room and friends... See what's going on. Don't wait for the bad grades to come in.
Drug test while at college during visits home. Once you know what's going on you can discuss it and develop a plan if necessary.
Even were we in a world in which teens taking drugs were a rarity, it would be good parenting to observe and discuss behavior, often, openly and lovingly. But in our world of easily acquired and often inappropriately taken drugs, setting clear boundaries and expectations with reasonable vigilance is even more important.
And when there is a problem, reach out for help.